Get friends to do business: 2 distinct approaches

“We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way.” You have heard this line plenty of times in TV dramas.

There are plenty of ways to approach friends to do business. Sometimes, the right strategy is broadcasting, as you cultivate many individuals. Other times, narrowcasting, a 1:1 approach, is the best strategy. Let us consider them both.

 

The kind and gentle approach of broadcasting

Suppose you ask people to do business without saying those words. Set up a scenario where they believe it’s their idea to do business with you! Years ago, a client from an “old money” family gave this advice on cultivating his segment of the market.

“Practice a willingness to be thoughtful and gently persistent in a discrete fashion. People with significant assets tend to be wary. If they still have money, it’s because they have been careful about it.”

How do you put this advice into practice? Start by investing in the relationship. Be in front of them. Remind people what you do, why you are good at it and gently solicit business.

Here is how you do it: It all starts with the question you get almost every time you see friends.  They ask: “How’s business?” You might give a one-word answer like “great” or “never better.”  Why? Because no one wants to hear you complain, so stick to the positive!

You are missing an opportunity. Instead of hearing “How’s business?” try hearing, “How have you helped someone today?” This can be the lead-in for a short, anonymous story.  (It will take skill to keep it short!)

Imagine if you told your friend:

• You have a client. She hates her job.
• You look over her list of assets. You know her spending. She lives modestly.
• You explain she is in good financial shape. If you recommended moving money around (growth to income), she could quit tomorrow!
• She quit her job. She has never been happier.

What does your friend hear? “She hated her job. You moved money around. She quit her job and is now living off her investment income!”

What does your friend think: “I hate my job! Could he do that for me?” If not, they are thinking “My brother-in-law hates his job. Could you do that for him?”

You can see a problem. You don’t have life-changing client moments every day. The other variation is: “Did a client want to do something stupid with their money? Did you show them why that was a terrible idea and give them a better option?” (This probably happens often.) Now your client is thinking who they know who is about to make the same mistake! They think they need to put you both in touch with each other.

Narrowcasting: Directly asking for business

Some situations need a direct approach instead of planting seeds. This requires immediate action.  Here is a strategy for directly asking for business though a seven-step process.

Step One: You observe that a friend has a serious need. It might be caring for an aging parent.  They don’t have a solution, yet they don’t think of you in the context of being the solution provider.

Step Two: Bring up the problem in conversation. Recognize this weighs heavily on their mind.  You have given this serious thought. You might have a solution to their dilemma. Stop talking.

Step Three: Assess their level of comfort or unease. They might react as if you threw a life preserver to a drowning man! They are receptive. On the other hand, they might say this is a family matter. Mind your own business. The discussion ends here.

Step Four: Assuming they are comfortable, mention you can view this objectively as a third party. You can see multiple solutions. You mention several courses of action. Perhaps one might involve long-term care insurance or doing something with an insurance policy the aging parents own that has built up significant cash value. (One option might involve a senior living facility and monthly fees.)

Step Five: Be proactive. Offer to do something. You do not want to send a message like, “You have a problem. I can make money providing a solution.” That makes you appear self-interested.  Try selling the firm. “This isn’t the first time I have come across this problem. There’s a guy at our firm. He has helped many people with similar problems. You might call him a specialist. I can set up a meeting for you. If it would make you feel more comfortable, I can attend that meeting with you.”

Step Six: Do a good job. Give them a turnkey solution. Explain the pros, cons, costs and next steps. Now they have one complete solution.

Step Seven: They might not agree immediately. They want to think about it. Follow up in social situations when your paths cross. Ask about their parents. How are they doing? You know this issue weighs heavily on their minds. They had zero solutions before. Now they have one. You are gently reminding them they eventually need to do something. The chances are good they will accept your recommendation.

The direct approach has you identifying a need and providing a turnkey solution. You aren’t giving them homework or general advice. It’s all there. You are gently shining a light on the problem in future encounters. You are not being pushy. You are staying within the bounds of friendship, seeking to help where possible.

There are different ways to approach friends for business. You can determine which strategy works well for each situation.

© Entire contents copyright 2025 by InsuranceNewsNet.com Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reprinted without the expressed written consent from InsuranceNewsNet.com.