The illusive sunny side

COMMENTARY

I was trying to think up some hopeful bits of information that we could carry into the New Year, but it is sort of like hunting for a few kernels in a cornfield after a locust invasion.

How about this: When you were a child, I'm sure you must remember your parents saying to you, "This is America where anyone can become president."

Tales of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny might have been misleading, but what they said about being president was true. Twice.

Another happy fact (and I told you that there isn't much to choose from): For another whole year, we won't have to listen to those mind-numbing commercials telling us how much better the health insurance policy they are hawking is than the lousy one we have.

I suppose it is some sort of indication, as far as the public's attitude towards health insurance companies goes, that when the CEO of United Healthcare was shot down on a sidewalk in Manhattan, the outpouring of sympathy for the victim might better be described as a dry wash. To add insult to injury, the man accused of the murder emerged as some kind of lethal lothario by love-starved prowlers on the Internet. The House Ethics Committee (and there is a malapropism if there ever was one) voted to release their findings from investigations into the sexual shenanigans of former Rep. Matt Gaetz. Mr. Gaetz resigned his seat in Congress after prematurely ordering boxes of stationery with "Attorney General" on the letterhead. Although the more staid members of the panel opted not to title the findings "High Life of a Low Life," the report is sure to offer Colleen Hoover some competition.

I don't recall Mr. Gaetz' stated reason for his abrupt resignation, but it probably had something to do with spending more time with his family. The other reliable chestnut is that he did it as a selfless act because those totally groundless accusations were causing distractions from the president-elect's really important agenda that the rest of the country is awaiting with all the enthusiasm that the prospect of a root canal inspires.

Among the topics examined in the year-long investigation was that Gaetz engaged in sexual misconduct, used illicit drugs, shared inappropriate images or videos on the House floor, misused state identification records, converted campaign funds to personal use, and/or accepted a bribe, improper gratuity, or impermissible gifts. In other words, as far as the incoming administration is concerned, he was just one of the guys.

Our next president is fond of boasting that he only hires the "best people." Given Mr. Gaetz' disreputable history, I wonder if that should be changed from best people to soul mates. Cell mates seems premature at the moment, but tomorrow is another day. You may recall that, during his first administration, the revolving door at the White House turned more frequently than a windmill in Holland with the exits of some of those best people who either got wise or got caught.

A lot of political flotsam has washed up on the shores of the Potomac lately. Kari Lake, the immaculately groomed MAGA matron, evidently couldn't get elected to run a dog shelter even in Arizona. She had attached herself to the hull of the president-elect like a barnacle on a Nantucket whaler (an apt description on many levels). It seems that even barnacles get rewarded occasionally and Ms. Lake is now (are you ready for this?) the Voice of America.

The really sad part of it is that it is probably true.

I predict that Elon Musk's reign (and a big thank you to everyone who bought one of the cars) in Washington will last just as long as the president-elect doesn't realize Musk is 1.) Attracting more publicity or 2.) Being credited as a puppet master to Trump's Pinocchio. (Of course, if Pinocchio's nose grew every time he told a lie, this particular example's nose would now be on the outskirts of Nebraska.)

There is something really irritating about the prospect of this spectacularly unappealing, unelected, smug little techno wizard exerting this much power over people's lives in America. It is equally discouraging to think that a multi-billionaire can hoodwink so many people into believing that he has their best interests at heart.

I was very sorry to read that both Jeanne Connor and Jeannie Jenkins intend to leave their positions on the Select Board. I was even sorrier to learn that the local annoyist had thrown his tattered hat into the ring again, no doubt emboldened by a pair of dedicated naysayers already on the board.

This is what is happening all over the country, folks, on library boards, school boards, and select boards. These chronic dissenters inject an almost paranoiac objection to anything that they disagree with, all neatly cloaked in a noble concern about spending taxpayer's money, and effectively bringing any substantive progress to a standstill.

Progress is sometimes expensive. The negativity and the incivility that the Bennington board has experienced lately also manages to convince people who might better serve the community that they don't want to get involved. I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't part of the game plan, too.

Bennington doesn't need another proponent of the "just say no" school of decision making on the board.

Alden Graves is a columnist with the Bennington Banner. Opinions expressed by columnists do not necessarily reflect the views of Vermont News & Media.