Social cultivation: How to talk with wealthy prospects

“After careful consideration, I decided the market segment I will pursue is wealthy people.” Yes, a financial advisor new to the industry made this announcement with a straight face. What other market segments he was considering! If you are going to break into the high net worth community in your local area, you will have to talk with them. What does this involve?

The name of the game is social cultivation. The idea is when you become part of their world and are accepted as a peer, friendships develop and word spreads about your professional life.  People start to like you. People do business with people they like. Your involvement can be paradoxical. You must stay alert for business that might fall into your lap. On the other hand, you can’t push business because you come across as desperate.

Think about developing these social relationships as “dating their money.” The world of dating can offer insightful lessons. In dating, if you come on too strong, you can come across as desperate. Desperate people don’t get dates. Why? Because the other person senses there is something “off” when you are trying too hard. In the financial services world, the opposite of desperate is successful. If everyone knows you are a financial advisor and you don’t push business, they assume you already have plenty of clients. You are seen as successful. Successful people like to do business with other successful people.

In romance, you have heard the expression “Love them and leave them.” This is never said in a complimentary way! You will meet people who have money. You will meet people who look like they are wealthy but don’t have as much as you thought. You can’t cozy up to the wealthy ones and freeze out the others.

Treat everyone with the same dignity, respect and attentiveness. You will come across as someone with good breeding. There is economic logic to this strategy too.  The second group of people might not be rich, but they know what you do, and they like you.  They are in a position to tell your story and be great referral sources.

Cultivation always starts with talking with someone. Like dating, there are three elements to the process. They are the introduction, identifying shared interests and using those shared interests as the rationale for staying in touch afterwards. This is an area where many people in dating (and HNW cultivation) fall down.

Start by imagining you are single. Now imagine the following scenario: You walk into a bar/club/social event. Sitting alone is the most incredible person you have ever seen. They are the only person in the room. They are fine with you walking over. You take the next seat. You know the room will fill up in the next 10 minutes. This person will be the center of attention for many people. You have 10 minutes. What do you talk about?

In dating situations, many people talk about themselves. They talk about how great they are!  They almost say, “You are so lucky to meet someone like me!” Bad move. The incredible person is getting “hit on” and that happens all the time. You are frozen out.

The better approach is to spend the time learning about them. Ask questions. Share information, because social conversation is an exchange. When I interviewed people for my book Captivating the Wealthy Investor, a woman said: “Please tell advisors this is conversation, not interrogation.”  After a few minutes, you learn a lot, including some details about their interests and passions.  Summarizing those shared interests at the end of the conversation lays the groundwork for why you would like to see them again and continue this conversation.

Where does the business come from? Obviously, this is not happening in the first 10 minutes!  You are thinking long term, cultivating many new friendships. This brings us back to the “dating their money” analogy. In romance, when things get serious, you are expected to date only one person at a time. In social prospecting, you can date many people at the same time, because you are building social relationships that may (or may not) turn into business.

Back to business. After you have met people in social situations and learned about their interests, you develop social relationships with them. Gradually, they share more details about their personal lives. This includes talking about their needs at some point. You are in a position to tactfully introduce business in the context of addressing that need.

Why didn’t they mention that need earlier?  Like an iceberg, they only see a small segment of how you help people.  They did not think of you in the context of a solution.

Good news!  Cultivation may be a long process, but it is rewarding and fun.

© Entire contents copyright 2024 by InsuranceNewsNet.com Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reprinted without the expressed written consent from InsuranceNewsNet.com.