New Haven Register, Conn., Sunday Gravy column

June 01--Visited a new barber shop this week (hand me a free coupon and I'll try anything) and for the first time ever was excited about the experience. It's a sports-themed place with memorabilia on the wall and, at every chair, a flat-screen TV tuned to ESPN.

When the stylist asked how I wanted my hair cut, figured I'd keep in step with the premise.

"Gimme the Jon Gruden."

While I was hoping for a snappy comeback along the lines of "Sorry, we're fresh out of salad bowls," the response still made me smile.

"No one has ever asked for that."

Shocker. Anyway, I couldn't go through with the Gruden. Too much effort to properly maintain the cowlick. So we stuck with the old, reliable haircut that's served me well since seventh grade. The Chachi Arcola.

--Fair or not, for as good as Henrik Lundqvist has been over the past nine years -- he owns Olympic gold and a .920 career save percentage that is second in NHL history only to Dominik Hasek -- Ranger fans will never regard him in the same class as Mike Richter until he wins a championship. No easy task, mind you. But if the Rangers pull this off, he'll have a Conn Smythe Trophy to go along with a rare New York City Stanley Cup.

He'll also have a real argument (with Hamden'sJonathan Quick, among others) to be considered best goalie of his generation.

--It seems like everywhere you look these days, local kids are accomplishing great things on the biggest of stages.

Quick is in pursuit of his second Stanley Cup in three seasons. George Springer (New Britain) has 10 home runs for the Astros this month, tied for third-most by a rookie. Eric Campbell (Norwich) has been a pleasant surprise for the Mets; A.J. Pollock (Hebron) is coming into his own with the Diamondbacks; Mike Olt (Branford) leads the Cubs in homers.

Sean Newcomb, projected to go as high as 10th in next week's MLB draft, could become the highest-drafted University of Hartford baseball player since Jeff Bagwell 25 years ago.

The eyes of ex-UConn shooting guard Ray Allen, 39 next month, are still as sharp as his tongue (his use of the word "buffoonery" to describe Indiana'sLance Stephenson is Pulitzer-worthy).

Kevin Ollie, ink still fresh on his new contract, is on his way to the White House next week as UConn celebrates two more basketball titles.

If not for emerging details in the chilling Aaron Hernandez murder case, it might've made for a perfect Connecticut summer.

--A sports franchise is only as valuable as the self-importance of the megalomaniac who wants to buy it. How else can you explain $2 billion for the Clippers?

--Manny Ramirez will soon be a player/coach for the Cubs' Triple-A affiliate. Which means the day is coming when he'll reprimand himself in the dugout for not hustling.

--Ramirez will be part of manager Marty Pevey's coaching staff with the Iowa Cubs. Pevey managed the final season of New Haven Ravens baseball before they left for New Hampshire. Has it been 11 years already?

Diehards might remember him as the guy who once blasted fans at Yale Field for their fickle nature. "That's why they're selling insurance and I'm doing what I'm doing."

For what it's worth, Pevey told media he was excited about Manny's arrival. At least he's learned to filter his inner monologue.

--Eric Hartzell, Quinnipiac's 2013 Hobey Baker finalist, won the AHL'sHarry "Hap" Holmes Award, along with teammate Jeff DesLauriers, for having the league's lowest team goals-against average. But neither has dressed for the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Penguins through three rounds of playoff action. DesLauriers is injured and Hartzell has been a healthy scratch. Peter Mannino, suspended three months midseason for disciplinary reasons, has started every game. The Penguins were down 3 games to 1 in the Eastern Conference finals heading into Saturday night's matchup with St. John's.

--Hartzell has been mostly watching hockey of late. But his older brother, a former college golfer at Delta State, will attempt to gain entry to the U.S. Open field on Monday at a 36-hole section qualifier in Roswell, Georgia.

Brandon Hartzell, who carries business cards that read "professional golfer/life entrepreneur," shot a 72 at a local qualifier in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, last week. Thinking he'd blown his chance at the Open, he drove halfway home to South Carolina before stopping for lunch at a Waffle House. He checked scores on his phone, saw his 72 might be enough to get him into a playoff, and then drove all the way back, where he waited for the tournament to end in the golf course's parking lot with a couple of beers.

"I'm thinking, 'What the heck do I do?'" Hartzell told the Charlotte News and Observer. "I ask somebody if there's a shopping mall. Then I was like, 'Alright, you know -- let's find a nice shady spot and drink some beer.' Because I shot 72. Let's be honest, I'm probably not going to get in."

Turned out he didn't even need a playoff. His 72 was enough to send him to the section qualifier, where he'll compete with 31 others for a shot at playing in the Open.

--Ramirez over Curt Schilling as featured guest for the 2004 Red Sox championship reunion? Let's see. Manny's many Boston misdeeds include quitting on the team in 2008. Schilling, whose courageous bloody sock performance in '04 remains one of the franchise's signature moments, is now in the midst of a battle with cancer. Makes perfect sense.

--Dave Hopla, a basketball shooting guru, knocked down all 210 jump shots he took while delivering a motivational speech in Wallingford on Thursday. Inspired, I went out to the driveway and sank 14 consecutive free throws, beating my previous career high of one.

--Always humbling to watch the Scripps National Spelling Bee. In this world of auto-correct and text message shorthand, it's comforting to know some kids are capable of spelling every word in the English language. GR8 2C. TTYL.

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