‘CALL FOR ACTION’ — Suicide crisis hits home; issue ‘shrouded in taboo far too long’

Sept. 27--It's been almost a year since Greg Lucas took his shotgun to the backyard and ended his life.

He had threatened many times before, so his wife, Elaine, didn't believe he would do it when he put the gun on their bed and told her, "Today's going to be the day."

She begged her husband of 31 years to go to the hospital. He refused.

Lucas had been on antidepressants for years but had recently stopped taking them.

"I told him it was the worst thing he could do," his wife said. But he stopped anyway.

He slept a lot, and he stopped talking.

"He didn't have much to say."

But he did tell her when he died he wanted to be cremated, and he told her what music he wanted played at his funeral.

"It was like he had already planned it six months before," she said.

Suicide call each day

High profile suicides have played out in headlines around the country in recent weeks from comedian Robin Williams to an Appalachian State University freshman and a Florida man who also killed his daughter and six grandchildren.

But it happens here as well.

In the city alone, there were 10 suicides from 2008 until the present and 125 reported suicide attempts, according to Wilson Police figures.

Suicide was the 10th leading cause of death nationally for all ages in 2010.

More than 800,000 people die by suicide every year -- around one person every 40 seconds, according to World Health Organization's first global report on suicide prevention.

"This report is a call for action to address a large public health problem which has been shrouded in taboo for far too long," said Dr. Margaret Chan, director-general of WHO.

Nancy Sallenger, executive director of the Wilson Crisis Center, said she and the 50 volunteers who man the phones always get more calls after suicides are in the news.

"They want to talk about it."

The Crisis Center averages one call a day from someone who is considering suicide, she said.

"They feel like they are at their end," Sallenger said.

Maybe it's a mother whose power has been turned off and has no food. She has children and needs somewhere to stay.

"So I listen and share resources." Sallenger said. Listening is important. She always hears the person out before she asks questions and offers help. She also assures callers that their life is worth living.

"So many say, 'No one listens to me or has time to listen to me,'" Sallenger said. "And I listen; it doesn't matter how long."The calls are usually very intense. Sometimes the person on the other end of the line is addicted to drugs or alcohol. They are hurting and don't know what to do, she said. Often, the problem is money-related.

"We listen to what's being said. Everyone is important and has feelings, and they should be able to express their feelings."

If Sallenger thinks the caller is in immediate danger she asks, "Would you like someone to come and help?"

Getting help for depression

Janelle Clevinger, executive director of the Mental Health Association in Wilson County, said depression is the No. 1 factor in suicide. And often, it goes untreated.

Older people, especially men, don't want to admit they are depressed, she said, and often they mask their depression with alcohol.

Everyone gets sad or gets the blues, Clevinger said, but if it lasts longer than a few weeks, you may have clinical depression and need help.

Clevinger said it's important to open a dialog with loved ones who are depressed and seem suicidal.

"Don't be afraid to get involved," she said.

"Help them realize suicide is not the only way to make the pain stop."

Encourage the person to seek professional help. A good support system is also important.

Those supporters can make sure the person is taking his or her medication such as anti-depressants, she said. Once a patient starts to feel better on medication, he will often stop taking it, thinking he didn't need it after all. But it's just the opposite, she said. It was the medicine making the difference. And once the medicine is discontinued, the depression returns.

One of the biggest issues here is reducing the stigma of mental illness.

"Even the term mental illness makes some people cringe," Clevinger said.

When someone calls the Mental Health Association office, seeking help with mental illness, Clevinger has to ask the all-important question, "How are you going to pay for help."

If the client doesn't have private insurance or has Medicaid she refers them to Eastpointe, the local management entity for mental health.

Sometimes, families have to get involuntary commitment papers to get immediate help for their loved ones who are threatening suicide or threatening to harm someone else.

Clevinger said it's not always easy to find a bed in a mental health facility. And once the patient is placed, it's often not long enough.

"The biggest frustration for me and others in the business is maybe they stay in the hospital three to seven days and then are released back on the streets if they don't have someone to take them in."

And that's often the case.

"With mental illness, a lot of times that person has burned bridges already because of behavior, and family and friends will not take them in."

The new leadership at Wilson Medical Center is looking at options for mental health treatment at the hospital, which no longer offers inpatient services.

'Only way out'

In the wake of Robin Williams' suicide, Clevinger heard many people remark, "How could he have done that?" He had everything: wealth, money, fame. But there's so much more to it.

Often, someone who is depressed feels suicide is their only option, she said.

"That is a place most of us can't imagine."

They can no longer think about their family, their friends.

"You are thinking you want to rid yourself of this pain, and death is the only way out," she said.

Elaine Lucas thinks her husband had gotten to that point.

"He couldn't take it anymore," she said.

He had suffered from depression for about eight years, but this was different.

He was injured in a wreck and couldn't work as much as he needed. The bills weren't getting paid.

"And we were struggling," she said.

It angers Lucas when people tell her it was selfish for Greg to kill himself and leave her and their adult son.

"I say, 'You don't have a clue what he went through.'

"I know he was sick," Lucas said. "It's not a selfish act; it's beyond their control."Clevinger said the survivors of the deceased often feel guilty and angry after a suicide. But she reminds them mental illness is a physical problem.

She also encourages family members to be vocal if their loved ones are depressed or showing signs of suicidal tendencies. "I want loved ones not to be afraid to get involved," she said.

It's important to talk to those who suffer from depression and to have open discussions about their illness and suicide.

Tell them, "I'm here for you. I'll never leave you. I'll get you help."

Clevinger encouraged family and friends to get their loved one to the doctor if possible to talk about depression. That's not always easy.

Lucas thinks of others in the same situation she was in that day, when she had done everything she knew to do, even trying to get him to go to the hospital the day he took his life.

"You better get somebody in there because they will do it," she said. "When they get in that deep, dark place and get it in their head, they need to call that day because they will do it.

"I never thought he would do it," she said through tears.

It has taken almost a year, but Lucas has forgiven her husband.

She said she went from mad, to understanding to forgiving.

She is happy again and getting out more. But that doesn't mean she doesn't remember that Saturday morning in October.

Lucas relives the traumatic scene in her mind every day.

"When I heard the pop, I ran to the bedroom and saw the shotgun was gone," she said.

She ran through the house and out the door looking for Greg.

"I fell to my knees when I saw him lying there dead in the backyard."

The shotgun was at his side.

Editor's note: Elaine Lucas is employed at The Wilson Times. She agreed to tell her very personal story in the hope of helping others in the same situation.

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