What makes you interesting to wealthy people?

You attended a social event filled with wealthy people. It was easier to start conversations with them than you imagined. They asked, “What do you do?” Your answer was not too long or too short. Why are they going to continue the conversation? What makes you interesting? What subjects will keep the conversation going?

Anyone with experience in dating knows there are jerks out there. Plenty of people are in love with themselves and talk about how great they are! The most important thing that makes you interesting is you are interested in others. The jerk loves talking about himself. It is not really that interesting to other people. If you draw out other people and get them to talk about themselves, they have a good time. That makes you interesting.

Another quality you can demonstrate is depth. The wealthy have met plenty of airheads. If you are a younger advisor and share opinions supported by facts, that gets wealthy people’s attention. That is what they expect from subordinates at work. You are showing those traits. You come across as smart.

Experiences in life make you interesting. People like to listen to a good story. If it involves travel, they can often identify with it. Travel is the secret language high net worth individuals often use to determine whether someone fits into their social category. Philanthropy can be another common interest. The wealthy often see supporting local charities as an obligation.  “Yes, we support (organization.)  Our contributions are not on the same scale as yours, yet we try to do our part.” Experiences help you identify common interests.

What does tact mean? It means you can have a point of view without pushing it. When meeting people for the first time, you often know little about them. If you were to say, “Anyone who smokes is an idiot,” you don’t know if they have a cigar case in their inside pocket! They might think, “She just called me an idiot!”

It helps to have a sense of humor. This does not mean you are a joke teller. It can mean you see the funny side of situations. You can be self-deprecating on occasion.

Knowledge of local issues is also important. Business owners are invested in their community’s success. Knowing what businesses are moving in and what companies are expanding signals you are invested in the community too.

People may keep talking to you because they find you interesting, but how do you identify those shared interests? For example, if you restore classic cars and they do the same, there are plenty of reasons to keep in touch. How do you get to that point?

If you are at a nonprofit event, asking about their connection to the organization is a good start.  If you are at a party in someone’s home, ask how they know the host. The strategy of offering a compliment is a safe approach. Admiring their watch might reveal they are a watch collector.  You are too!

What are the safe, noncontroversial subjects that identify common ground? Travel is a great one.  Are they traveling over the holidays? Where are they going? You have or haven’t been there.  This is an opportunity to dig deeper. What do they do for fun? Many people play golf. If you do not play golf, you might ask, “What do you do when it rains?” What is their favorite sports team?  Talking about house prices and neighborhoods is good too. Wealthy people might moan about higher home prices, but if they own a house, they are secretly thrilled. Gardening is a popular American pastime. How do you know? Because Home Depot and Lowes run TV ads all the time. Where do their children go to school? Is it the same school as your children?

How do you lay the groundwork to see them again? The first step is to disengage from this “fact finding” operation before they get tired of talking with you. Circle back at the end of the evening. Two bottlenecks are the coat check line and the parking valet station.

Mention you enjoyed meeting them. You have several shared interests. Mentioning a few is great because it demonstrates you have been listening.

You would like to keep in touch. How do you do that? Stop talking. Let them offer a solution.  They might say, “Send me a LinkedIn invite.” They might say, “Sorry, I don’t have any business cards.” Unless they think up another way to exchange contact info, assume they are not interested. In response, I like to take my business card, write my first name on the back along with my phone number and a word about what we discussed. I offer it handwritten side first.

It is easy to make a good first impression!

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