Carry your own code of conduct in your heart

I recently read a restaurant review of the restaurant French Laundry on their 25^th anniversary. Their meticulous founder, Thomas Keller, operates a three-acre culinary garden across the street from his famous eatery in Napa Valley. Visitors can sample strawberries right off the vine.

The article mentioned that when vines struggle, the roots dig deeper for resources and this strain produces a more interesting flavor with a deeper complexity.

The same is true for humans in general and salespeople in particular, because adversity is usually good for the soul. What is adversity? It means different things to different people. For one person, it might be as minor as having no wifi. For another, it might be the heartbreaking death of a loved one. People grow when they struggle; so does their faith.

There is an element of courage in every call and in every sale.

Many years ago, I had the good fortune of taking an application for life insurance on the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. He was managed by the same company that oversaw a lot of professional tennis players and PGA tour players. I visited the office twice and saw these athletes’ posters all over the walls. It was rather heady stuff for a young man attempting to write an important piece of business at that time in my career.

A few days before I was ready to deliver the policy, the sports agent representing my client told me, rather matter-of-factly over the telephone, “We’re going to need 25% of this case if you want the business.”

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

I reminded this man that the state I live in (Indiana) and the state he worked in (Ohio) and the state where the application was dated and where the client lived (Michigan) all had anti-rebating statutes. He calmly stated, “We don’t want a rebate. We just want a piece of the action.”

When I asked if he had a license to sell life insurance, he said he didn’t need one.

It only took a moment for me to respond I would not give them anything and that I had earned the right to get the business and his request to be paid off was dirty. My client told me he was too busy to play referee and I did not get this case. Did I want the business? Of course! However, there was something bigger than a piece of business hanging in the balance.

Trust your gut. When you know something is not right and your instincts confirm it, then there is no right way to do a wrong thing.

Fast forward 25 years later. A tough man who already owned a million dollars of life insurance with me needed more. However, he emphatically stated the only way he would buy more coverage with me is if his lawyer in Manhattan approved of the idea. This seemed easy enough; his need for more life insurance was present and my client was doing very well for himself.

The next day over the phone, after exchanging pleasantries with the lawyer in Manhattan, he asked me a question I had not expected: “How do you feel about revenue sharing?”

“Revenue sharing?” I asked, hoping that it wasn’t what I was afraid it was going to be.

“Yes,” he growled, “I’m going to need a piece of your commission.”

I told him I would keep my commission and he could keep his hourly fee because, at the end of the day, we both would certainly earn them.

Once again, although I did not write the business, I was better for my decision in the long run.

You see, once you have a minimum standard of behavior already set for yourself, the pressure is off. The response of “no, that is not going to happen” when asked to do anything you shouldn’t, is automatic - even though it’s always gut wrenching.

A friend of mine was being considered for a top job at one of the biggest life insurance companies in the country. Toward the end of the interview process, they brought in a psychologist to visit with him.

At the end of their session, my friend asked the psychologist why she had spent so much time asking questions that dealt with his integrity. She calmly informed him, if he got the job and decided to leave, it would not be because he disliked the job; it would be because someone asked him to do something that was unethical.

Someday, someone will ask you (perhaps again) to do something that is unethical. Do you want to simplify your life? Carry your own personal code of conduct in your heart; it is always easier to access that way.

What else would I want to keep in mind going forward?

Life should be a generosity contest.

Do great things, think great thoughts, delegate the rest.

Remember, busy is the enemy of gratitude.

Fall deeply in love with someone. Great successes (and challenges) need to be shared.

It is not always what happens to you; it’s how you handle it.

Truth is more important than facts. When in doubt, pray.

Charles Dickens was right when he wrote “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” We decide this every morning before we put our coat on.

Kindness never goes out of style. Neither do good manners.

When it’s gray and cloudy outside, go for a brisk walk and think of all you are thankful for.

Is there peace in your heart?

Scott Brennan is past president of the Million Dollar Round Table and Forum 400. He is the 75^th recipient of the John Newton Russell Memorial Award. He may be contacted at [email protected].

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D. Scott Brennan is a career MassMutual agent in South Bend, Ind. He is a past president of the Million Dollar Round Table and is the 2016 recipient of the John Newton Russell Memorial Award. He may be contacted at [email protected].