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Hurricane Dorian: Getting comfy with the storm lingo again

This would be a good time to brush up on your hurricane terminology.

For some newcomers, the approaching Hurricane Dorian will be their first Florida hurricane, and for the rest of us, it will be another opportunity to speak that special tropical storm language we've come to learn.

So here's an essential glossary of terms you ought to know:

Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-64c56e6183397136cb31544151cf5bb2">Cordial neighbor

Definition: It's that neighbor who shows up at your door after a power-disrupting hurricane with an extension cord in his hand, asking if he can run his refrigerator through your generator."

Used in a sentence: "That package of Oreos in the kitchen is from one of our cordial neighbors."

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Term:http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-669f1658eadba8d3cc1753fb857fa95b"> NSFW

Definition: When the pre-storm frenzy gets so out of control that it's best to stay home, it becomes NSFW -- Not Safe for Walmart.

Used in a sentence: "If you don't have extra double-A batteries, we'll just resort to candles, because it's getting NSFW out there."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-d1152ad960e21a674623b6a8e9dc08f3">Eyehole

Definition: A person who insists on going outside during the temporary lull in the middle of a hurricane.

Used in a sentence: "Some eyehole just got hit in the head with a coconut while taking a selfie on his front lawn."

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Term:http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-6b0e8b4147d9e12637f16ca02853d10d"> Mutiny on the Bounty

Definition: When hurricane victims toss rolls of paper towels back at President Trump.

Used in a sentence: "While visiting the South Florida Fairgrounds hurricane relief center, the president decided not to throw anything at survivors, fearing a Mutiny on the Bounty situation."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-219d5fcbff5a5633cde163c72d2ddc0d">Sweltering in place

Definition: Spending the night in your home while waiting for electrical power to be restored.

Used in a sentence: "My wife wants to get a hotel room, but I'm planning on sweltering in place."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-690fab0b2ed6f565ca2b1a91a46c97d6">Sheltering in place

Definition: A euphemism for skipping work and blaming it on the storm.

Used in a sentence: "I wanted to binge watch 'Fleabag' on Netflix, so I told my boss I was sheltering in place today."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-4394b6ef102bc07163656f1a4254b079">Monitoring the storm

Definition: A less dire version of "sheltering in place." While serving as an excuse to miss work, monitoring the storm implies that you may not actually be at home. Monitoring the storm is frequently done from barstools or out-of-town resorts.

Used in a sentence: "I've been monitoring the storm here since the two-for-one special on well drinks."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-1e8a8693ebdce3c607d4647ff38cb639">H-2-Ogre

Definition: A person who becomes obsessed with the panicky, irrational quest to collect numerous pallets of bottled water any time a storm comes near, wiping out store shelves for a commodity that comes out of your home's faucet, even if the electrical power is lost.

Used in a sentence: "There was a line of H-2-Ogres outside Publix waiting for the truck to arrive."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-c480e0e8a7b5c28d9079198b594191ec">Cat creep

Definition: The gradual inflation of storm intensity forecasts over time as they get closer to shore.

Used in a sentence: "Dorian was predicted to hit Florida as a Category 1 storm earlier in the week, but after a few days of cat creep, the predictions had it growing to a Category 4 by landfall."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-23a5212551cbdc2fe87b6a96e583fd06">The scone of uncertainty

Definition: Wondering if the nearby Dunkin Donuts will be open the morning after the storm.

Used in a sentence: "Due to the rather large scone of uncertainty with Dorian, I'm buying a big box of Lucky Charms cereal before the storm hits."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-5908f74b60c4e9afb17b42f194eb9b93">Evacuation plan

Definition: Eating lots of bran as the storm approaches

Used in a sentence: "The roads may have been backed up by Dorian, but I surely wasn't."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-6dd80c32788df2c3c3c671592672d65c">Feeder band

Definition: Any rainfall that happens in your area within 72 hours of the approach of the actual hurricane.

Used in a sentence: "Yes, Weather Channel, I'm calling to report that a feeder band just knocked down a palm frond in my yard in case you want to send a crew."

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Term: http://www.infomaker.se/idf/1.0" id="strong-7b58bc03da1f8fd2fec436b839088c19">Live Doppler

Definition: Stuff hurricane weather people start talking about when they begin hallucinating due to a lack of sleep.

Used in a sentence: "You'd better go slow with those mushrooms or you'll start seeing Live Doppler.

fcerabino@pbpost.com

@FranklyFlorida

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