Unmarried-adoption measuresfall short in legislative panels

By Kathy Adams

The Virginian-Pilot

RICHMOND

While two gay couples wait to make their case for marrying in Norfolk's federal court, another issue close to the hearts of many homosexual couples - second-parent adoption - has essentially died for the legislative session.

Virginia requires two people to be married in order for one to adopt a child of another. While the rule applies to Virginians of all sexual orientations, it means gay couples who aren't allowed to marry here also cannot share legal custody of any children they may support and raise together.

Two bills before the General Assembly that sought to change the law are unlikely to pass this year after a Senate committee failed to act on one last week and a House subcommittee killed the other Wednesday. The legislation would have allowed a second person to adopt a child if the child only has one legal parent who consents. The change would have applied to both heterosexual and same-sex couples, as well as to non-couples.

Proponents were hoping they'd get another try in the Senate, where the Rehabilitation and Social Services Committee was split 6- 6 on the issue. But that is unlikely after the committee's membership changed Tuesday, adding conservatives who are unlikely to support the legislation, said James Parrish, executive director of Equality Virginia, a gay-rights advocacy group.

The outcome was disappointing for couples such as Richmond'sMarti Tomlin and Farah Allen, who pleaded with lawmakers to change the statute. Allen is biologically related to Knox and Logan, 1- year-old twin boys to whom Tomlin gave birth in 2012.

Allen changes their diapers, buys their groceries and snuggles them when they're sick, Tomlin said Wednesday. But because Allen donated her eggs for the boys' conception rather than carrying and giving birth to them herself - and because she and Allen cannot legally marry - the state does not recognize Allen as a parent. And it won't allow her to adopt the redheaded twins who, in every other way, she says, are her sons.

That means Allen can't take family sick leave when they're ill and she can't list them on her medical and life insurance plans, she said. And she worries that if Tomlin died, she would have no custodial rights.

"She shouldn't have to worry that if something should happen to me, someone could take her children from her," Tomlin said. "Love has already made our family complete, but this bill will protect our family."

Opponents argued that placing children in the care of two unwed people would be placing them in an unstable situation.

A judge would still have to decide whether to approve adoption based on what's in the best interests of the children, said Del. Joseph Yost, a Giles County Republican who sponsored the House version of the bill.

For most, that means having two parents, even if they're not married, said Sen. Janet Howell, a Fairfax County Democrat who carried the Senate bill.

"This would allow all intact, two-parent households to provide the security for their children that other families take for granted," Howell said.

Yost said he plans to try again next year.

"This is not about gay couples, straight couples," he said. "It's about kids."

Kathy Adams, 804-697-1563, [email protected]