The Price of Divorce

You hoped it wouldn't come to this, but it has: You and your spouse are splitting up. though you're likely overwhelmed with the emotional fallout, you need to get your finances in order. "moms tend not to want to fight with their ex about money or rack up legal bills, so they may give up their financial rights prematurely," says Suzanna de baca, vice president of wealth strategies at Ameriprise Financial in minneapolis, who's been through a divorce herself. it's crucial, however, to fight for your "financial wellness," since you're safeguarding your children's future, too. here's what to do up front.

1. Meet with a money pro. Your divorce attorney may be finance-savvy, but you may have complicated issues related to fair separation of assets, insurance needs, tax strategies and more. A financial planner- maybe even a certified Divorce Financial Advisor (cDFA)-can help you lay out your short- and long-term money picture. De baca advises consulting with a financial planner even if you're not totally sure you're divorcing or haven't yet told your spouse. this way, you may be able to shore up your finances or work on increasing your salary before you file.

2. Get a PO box. Particularly if your divorce could get contentious, you need a private way to receive financial documents and statements.

3. Separate some of your money. open checking and savings accounts in your own name, and start depositing some or even all of your paycheck regularly. get a credit card in your name only, if you don't already have one. take your spouse's name offyour cards if he's a designated user. if you live in a community property state, you'll have to report and share assets and debts when you split up-moving money into a separate account won't shelter it, says de baca. "but if your spouse is apt to run up bills before the divorce is final, separate accounts can minimize the damage since he won't have easy access to all of your money."

4. Practice living on just your income. Don't wait until your divorce is final to adjust spending. Start now to figure out how you'll manage on just your salary, what lifestyle changes you might need to make and how to track child expenses you'll want to negotiate with your ex.

5. Consider dumping the house. not this minute- but when you divorce. For now, visualize yourself living elsewhere, and consider what rent or mortgage you can afford. "often, a mom's first instinct is to ask for the house in the divorce to keep the status quo for the kids," de baca says. "but i've seen clients stay in homes without considering how hard it would be to afford the mortgage, upkeep and taxes on one salary." be open to moving, if necessary, so it won't be quite so painful if you decide to.