The Akron Beacon Journal Bob Dyer column

Oct. 02--Akron resident John Kirn was taking a walk the other day when he spotted a leaking city water line. He had his cellphone with him, so he figured he'd be a good citizen and report it.

That's when he discovered, as so many others have, that the city of Akron's 311 information line does not function when you use a cellphone.

To get to the same place via cell, you need to dial 330-375-2311. That requires the average Joe to memorize four more digits (assuming he knows the area code). Which is a lot to ask.

As Kirn points out, plenty of folks don't even have a land line anymore.City spokeswoman Stephanie York says relief is on the horizon. And the Verizon. And the Sprint and the T-Mobile and the AT&T.

"In order to get 311 directly from any cellphone, all four major cellphone carriers must agree to program their towers that are within the city limits," she said this week via email.

"Coincidentally, all four carriers have agreed to do this, and draft agreements are already in their hands. We are waiting for their response.

"UNDERSTAND, this is NOT completed yet. DO NOT lead your readers to believe they can call 311 from their cellphones now."

Wouldn't dream of it.

Truth in advertising

Therese Meehan of Hudson mailed me a classified ad she clipped from the Hudson Hub.

The seller was offering a 2003 Dodge Durango that was billed as having "a rebuilt engine, full frame, no rust, lots of new parts."

Some might consider a car like that to be on its last legs. So perhaps the person who took out the ad simply made a Freudian slip: It was listed under "Death Notices."

Do gas and water mix?

Just like the rest of us, Curtis Coffield has his share of worries. But residential water lines are not among them.

Coffield lives in Coventry Township and gets all the water he needs from his own well, thank you very much.

So he was surprised and puzzled when he received not one but two fancy sales pitches in short order from Dominion, the people who supply his natural gas.

The correspondence implied a considerable amount of urgency:

"Did you know the water line running from the street to your home is your responsibility? Water line failures can cost a homeowner like yourself as much as $4,000 in unexpected repairs."

To put your mind at ease, Dominion says, all you have to do is pay "$3.99*/month."

Follow the asterisk and that price is good only up to 125 feet.

Coffield sized things up and sent me this email:

"Two questions haunt me.

"One, why is a gas company selling water-line insurance? Is it that lucrative? Revenues down?

"Two, most troubling to me is the fact that they have no awareness that we have wells and do not have the water lines they want to protect. I thought time and mailing cost money. Maybe I think too much."

Well, Curtis, if you're thinking too much, so am I, because I had the same reaction when I got the Dominion mailings at my house, which -- you guessed it -- also has a water well.

So I figured we needed to contact someone who could simplify our thinking. Perhaps that would be Jim Norvelle, Dominion's director of communications.

Norvelle says all houses get the mailing because the branch of Dominion that handles such matters has no idea which homes have wells.

He also insists the offer was triggered by customers.

"[It] started with a gas-line replacement program in the late 1990s," he wrote. "Almost immediately, the first question we started getting from customers was, 'Say, can you protect my water and sewer line, too?' ....

"Today, water and sewer line protection are our most popular products because repair/replacement is extremely expensive and not covered by homeowner's insurance."

On the other hand ... some would say that's not money well-spent.

Among the naysayers: the website Investopedia, which lists water-line coverage among its list of "15 insurance policies you don't need."

Here's its assessment:

"Water companies have made an aggressive push to sell policies that cover the repair of the water line that runs from the street to your house. The odds are in your favor that you will never use this coverage, particularly if you live in a newer home.

"If you live in an average suburban neighborhood and you do need to repair the water line, the distance to the street is short, the likelihood of a problem is low and repair costs are a few thousand dollars or less. The same goes for policies offered by other utility companies."

So I guess we haven't really simplified anything, Curtis. Sorry.

Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or [email protected]. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31. Anyone who asks can be his friend. Yes, he's that needy.

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