Sweet streams of income: ChatGPT, the bard of annuities

By Steven A. Morelli

Annuities can be life changing and sustaining but let’s face it, they are about as exciting as a mortality table.

And why should it be? After all, annuities can be as life-altering to a retiree as a muse is to an artist. Shouldn’t it be the subject of at least one poem or song? OK, maybe not, but what the heck, we asked ChatGPT to write us a few paeans to prosperous retirement income.

ChatGPT is an artificial intelligence chatbot that has just about everyone shaking it like a postmodern magic 8-Ball. We had asked ChatGPT if artificial intelligence would replace financial advisors anytime soon, so we also decided to see how artistically creative it could be by asking for a couple of poems about annuities.

Here is the first attempt:

An annuity, a steady flow
Of income, a promise to know
That in our golden years
Our savings won't disappear
But provide for us, a steady glow

With every payment, peace of mind
Security for the future, to find
A stable source of cash
To enjoy life and make a dash
Towards our dreams, of all kinds

An annuity, a wise investment
For a comfortable retirement
A guarantee of funds
So our future never runs
Out, and our worries are lessened.

That was nice, but not great, but we were looking for a little more lyricism. Here is attempt No. 2:

Annuities, oh annuities
A steady stream of income, so wise
A contract with an insurer
To provide for your future, no terror

You invest a lump sum or payments
In exchange for regular allotments
A secure way to plan for old age
With annuities, your financial page

Fixed or variable, the choice is yours
To weather market shifts and roars
Immediate or deferred, the timing too
Annuities offer options for you

So when planning for your golden years
Consider annuities, calm your fears
A reliable source of income to come
Annuities, a wise investment, some

We were impressed by the product detail in that one. But what would William Shakespeare do?

Oh annuities, sweet streams of income flow
From investments made in days long ago
A steady stream of cash, a constant flow
For those who seek to ease their future woe

In youth, we plan and save for future days
When age and infirmity shall hold sway
And annuities, these contracts we raise
To keep us safe from want and penury's gaze

With each installment, a sigh of relief
For those who fear the end of wealth and means
Annuities, a source of constant grief
For those who seek to live their golden years with ease

So let us praise the power of annuities
For they provide a future free from anxieties

Yes! Sweet streams of income! Lovely images, but how about a little bit of grit in the mixture? What song would the bard of the barroom Tom Waits conjure about annuities?

Verse 1:

I got a little nest egg tucked away
In an annuity, it's here to stay
It ain't much, but it's a start
Gonna make sure it grows, gonna make it smart

Chorus:
Annuities, annuities
Gonna make sure my future's secure
Annuities, annuities
Gonna make sure I'm always pure

Verse 2:
I ain't got no fancy stocks or bonds
Just a steady stream of income to respond
It ain't glamorous, but it's reliable
Gonna make sure I'm always in style

Chorus:
Annuities, annuities
Gonna make sure my future's secure
Annuities, annuities
Gonna make sure I'm always pure

Bridge:
I ain't looking for no quick buck
Just a steady stream of cash, that's enough
I ain't got no need for the fast life
Just a little bit of security, that's right

Chorus:
Annuities, annuities
Gonna make sure my future's secure
Annuities, annuities
Gonna make sure I'm always pure

Outro:
So I'll keep on saving and investing
In my annuities, my future's in the best thing
I ain't got no worries, no fears
Just a steady stream of income for the coming years.

Steven A. Morelli is a contributing editor for InsuranceNewsNet. He has more than 25 years of experience as a reporter and editor for newspapers and magazines. He was also vice president of communications for an insurance agents’ association. Steve can be reached at [email protected]