Building trust through the power of storytelling

After I served as a financial advisor for more than 40 years, you can imagine that I have lots of stories. Some of them are small, simple stories of past interactions with clients. Others are major personal life-changing events. We all have a story to share. How we share it can shape the way we interact with others and lift the curtain on our values and passions. Sharing who you are, especially with clients, opens them up to recognize that you can relate to them and are ready to be their guide through the upcoming financial journey.

Finding community in crisis

I sold my business back in 2017, allowing me to enjoy more freedom in a “retired” lifestyle. I was still engaged in my coaching practice, but my wife and I were finally ready to achieve one of our long-term goals: a trip to Australia.

In a matter of moments, our dream trip turned into a nightmare. 

On one of the final days of our vacation, a truck collided with our rental car at more than 110 kilometers per hour, critically injuring both of us and totaling the vehicle. My wife was whisked off to a hospital by ambulance and immediately underwent emergency surgery to repair internal injuries caused by the seatbelt that saved her life. I broke six ribs, punctured my lung, and shattered my tibia and fibula below my right knee. My wife was taken to a local hospital in a small town called Warrnambool, and they airlifted me to a trauma hospital in Melbourne, about four hours away. 

While we were, of course, grateful to be alive, recovering so far from each other was difficult, especially in an unfamiliar land thousands of miles from our support systems at home. Recovery took time, meaning that even when we left our intensive care units, we were stranded in Australia until we were strong enough to make the long trip home. One day, the hospital staff let my wife know she had visitors. Who could be visiting her so far from home?

To my surprise, some of the Australian Million Dollar Round Table members I had met at conferences and other events burst through the door. They had heard about the accident through our network and traveled to Melbourne to visit. I needed a full month to recover after we were discharged from the hospital. These friends went so far as to help us find comfort in a foreign place. They drove us around the area for appointments, made meals for us and genuinely cared about helping us back on our feet both literally and figuratively. Finding a community that made sacrifices to help us 10,000 miles from home reminded me how communities show up for one another in the face of tragedy. It was humbling to receive this love and care from colleagues.  

By no means did I plan on our dream vacation resulting in a horrific accident, but I did have the opportunity to learn from the challenges and those around me. I spent much of my career asking clients who their support systems were and how they were prepared for tragedy. Experiencing a tragedy reminded me that we have the same needs as our clients. We can connect over our shared experiences and desire to protect our loved ones.  

Curating your story library

Sharing stories like mine allows those around us to understand how we think and why we are the way we are. That said, not every story needs to be as life-changing as mine. The goal in telling clients anecdotes about your life is to build rapport and develop an authentic connection. Sometimes the smallest of stories can spark a unique connection that fosters trust in you as their advisor. It can even be as simple as a common interest you share with the client. 

Music has always been an important part of who I am. I’m a guitar player, and a picture of my band in my office would spark conversation. Clients would ask what kind of music I played, and that question would lead to finding a shared love of music from the 1960s and ’70s or a story about playing instruments. 

Opening up about my interests created an accessible talking point to cut the tension when I was meeting with clients, creating a safe space for them to share personal information. It even allowed clients to have something easy to mention to friends, saying things like “Have you met Steve Plewes yet? He has a great collection of guitars you have to hear about.” Small touchpoints like my love for music would lead to relationships built on trust with my clients, and eventually they would refer me to fellow music lovers. Early in my career I thought the most important thing I could do was lead with facts and data, when in fact, what the clients really wanted to know first was what we had in common and that I could be trusted.   

Think about what makes you unique or what people in your community could relate to. Be willing to discuss things such as volunteer commitments, favorite sports teams, hobbies or talents, school affiliations, recent vacations and local community news.

Clients often want to understand who you are and why they should trust you before they want to hear your recommendation on their finances. Instead of turning to an artificial intelligence bot that could also provide financial advice, they value working with someone who will understand them at the human level. 

The advantages of authenticity

Let’s be honest; we don’t always get things right. There was a client once who shared feedback with me that I talked too much about myself. At first, I was frustrated because that wasn’t my intention. But upon further reflection, I realized I had missed the point. Storytelling isn’t just about sharing who I am. Our work as financial professionals is to understand what matters to our clients and build a financial plan with their priorities in mind. Storytelling is still an important part of showing our clients we can be trusted, but we need to be strategic in using the story as the vehicle to make clients feel safe to discuss themselves rather than dominating the conversation.

Breaking the ice with my personal stories was still a good strategy to alleviate stress and make people find comfort in our meetings. But as time went on, I selected my stories with intention. For example, I would sometimes tell the story of why I don’t wear a tie.

I once had a client who told me I wasn’t allowed to enter their home wearing a tie. I laughed it off and started to walk in anyway. They stopped me and said, “No, I’m serious. You need to take off the tie before you can come in.” I quickly took my tie off right there on the porch, confused but not wanting to offend them. After I was welcomed in, they explained that they wanted to work with someone who was real. A salesman who was going to give them a product and leave them to fend for themselves did not interest them. They were looking for a partner who would work with them instead of seeing them as another number. 

I stopped wearing ties from that point on. I realized that if I met with someone who wanted me in full professional dress including a tie, we likely were not a good fit for each other. The person who asked me to take off my tie did so to reiterate what was important to them. In the same way, I wanted to show new clients what was important to me. I was not focused on what I was wearing or what I could show them on a piece of paper. My goal was to help them get where they wanted to go, and I could do that without a tie. 

Stories like this marry the concept of who you are and your values as a professional. Clients put higher value on someone showing up authentically instead of relying solely on technical competence or marketing savviness. They want to know why you are the right person they should trust with their dreams. Authenticity in this manner leads to client retention; your clients are invested in the person you are and the way you look out for them. They will even be quick to tell friends and family about what you have done to help them, leading to a pipeline of like-minded clients. 

Showing vulnerability is a skill that takes time and practice. Dedicating time to reflect on what makes you unique will lead to meaningful conversations with clients. Not everything needs to be a life-altering tragedy like our trip in Australia; but clients are looking for authenticity. Write out a few stories that have helped you develop your own set of values and have shaped the way you work. The benefits are many; clients want you to be an expert but not a robot. Devoting time to present yourself authentically leads to better business and sustainable relationship development, creating a referral pipeline for similar clients and raising client retention rates.

Steve Plewes, CLU, ChFC, is an independent financial advisor with nearly 40 years of financial services industry experience. He is a certified professional coach helping financial advisors reach their full potential in life and business. Steve is a 38-year MDRT member with 15 Court of the Table and 11 Top of the Table qualifications. Contact him at [email protected].