Other Voices You can run but you can't hide

I know we live in a litigious society. I assume that liability insurance can be very expensive for certain professions. What I do not understand is how someone can get away with harming you just because they told you they might! And yet, we are increasingly forced to sign releases before we can receive needed services.

I recently had to undergo a medical procedure. Let me be clear, all of the medical professionals who were involved with the preparation and delivery of the procedure were skilled, kind, and efficient. The entire process went off without a hitch. As medical procedures go, this one was inconvenient but not complicated. When I scheduled the procedure, was given a packet of instructions. Several items in this packet gave me cause to pause. The people who designed the forms must not have a high opinion of the people delivering the service.

The packet contained 12 pages. Three of the pages listed, at the top of the page, the doctors who participated in the practice. There were, by actual count, 20 doctors listed.

One of the pages was titled "Patient's Rights and Responsibilities". I guess they were trying to save paper because the type size on this page was microscopic. The page listed 24 items. Eleven of them were patient's rights and thirteen of them were patient's responsibilities. Apparently, as patients we have more responsibilities than we do rights. So, I wondered why I was paying them to give me so many responsibilities. I had enough to worry about without them adding to my workload.

All of the above concerns faded in importance when I read the following information on a page titled "Preparation".

· "Be sure to wear shoes that will remain on your feet (preferably tennis shoes)". Are they suggesting that I might want to run out of there?

· The practice "will not be responsible for any lost valuables (including eyeglasses and dentures)".

Elsewhere, under a directive in large print to" STOP

2. was given a packet of instructions. Several items in this packet gave me cause to pause. The people who designed the forms must not have a high opinion of the people delivering the service.

The packet contained 12 pages. Three of the pages listed, at the top of the page, the doctors who participated in the practice. There were, by actual count, 20 doctors listed.

One of the pages was titled "Patient's Rights and Responsibilities". I guess they were trying to save paper because the type size on this page was microscopic. The page listed 24 items. Eleven of them were patient's rights and thirteen of them were patient's responsibilities. Apparently, as patients we have more responsibilities than we do rights. So, I wondered why I was paying them to give me so many responsibilities. I had enough to worry about without them adding to my workload.

All of the above concerns faded in importance when I read the following information on a page titled "Preparation".

· "Be sure to wear shoes that will remain on your feet (preferably tennis shoes)". Are they suggesting that I might want to run out of there?

· The practice "will not be responsible for any lost valuables (including eyeglasses and dentures)".

Elsewhere, under a directive in large print to" STOP AND READ" was the following; "Please be aware that there is a remote risk of injury to your native teeth or to dental work which is beyond our control. Because of this, you will be asked to sign a consent which states that you understand this risk and are willing to proceed."

"Beyond our control/" Does the doctor suffer from involuntary hand movements? Is a spaceship going to land in the office and an alien will knock out my teeth? Now I understand why they suggested I wear tennis shoes. I might want to escape to avoid being robbed or having my teeth knocked out.

I know that an attorney or a team of attorneys designed these forms. But these forms have taken the "cover you're a**" philosophy to a new and frightening level. I wonder, can we be stripped of our safety to receive the care we need? What if someone is incompetent or careless? Should anyone feel that they are not accountable for their actions?

I have designed a form that patients should give to medical providers. It states;

"I am putting my trust in you. I expect to leave your facility with all of the belongings that I arrived with. If theft is an issue, I suggest that you use some of the huge amounts that my insurance company and I will pay you, to hire security. I expect to leave your facility with all of my natural teeth and dental work. If the expectations mentioned above are not met, I, the patient am not responsible if your car gets keyed or if several military Veteran friends of mine "discuss" the matter with you. You do not need to sign this. Just heed the content."

My form will put patients on equal footing with the doctors. Either we are all responsible for our actions or none of us are responsible for our actions.

(I had intended to end this article at the above paragraph but then this happened.)

On the day of the procedure, I reported to the facility. I was asked to fill out several more forms and I was sent to an area separated from the several other areas by only a curtain.

I was told to undress, put on a hospital gown (you know, the ones with the open back), leave my socks and shoes on, and get on the gur-ney. Once I did all of that, they put the intravenous tap in my arm and wheeled me into the procedure room.

Just when I thought that the endless barrage of forms had ended, someone shoved a clipboard in my face and told me I had to sign two more forms acknowledging that I agreed to the required sedation and the procedure. Some attorney is concerned that someone might break into the facility in broad daylight, undress and put on a hospital gown, hop on a gurney, and wheel themselves into the procedure room but not want the sedation or the procedure! The authors of these forms are badly in need of therapy. They will probably have to sign a release before they can be treated.

Jim Brescia is an Army combat veteran, certified school psychologist and has 45 years of corporate executive experience. He can be reached at [email protected].