The Seattle Times Nicole Brodeur column

June 24--I probably should have prepped by hitting the batting cages once or twice.

But no. I trusted that the only skill I really needed to play in a charity softball game Saturday was my Jersey-honed ability to talk smack on the field: "He can't hit, he can't hit, he can't hit. ..."

That would be me who can't hit. Two swings. A foul ball. Another swing. Out.

But nobody cared. This was the United Way All-Star Softball Classic, a game that wasn't about the score, but raising awareness of -- and money for -- homeless youth.

My Blue Team was headed by Seattle Mariners Hall of Fame catcher Dan Wilson and included Seahawks wide receiver Jermaine Kearse, Seattle Sounders midfielder Osvaldo Alonso, NBA Hall of Famer Gary Payton, another Seattle Sonics legend, Slick Watts, Seattle star chef Ethan Stowell and ZUM gym founder Peter Shmock.

Opposing team captain and Mariners Hall of Fame right fielder Jay Buhner loaded his team up with his own DNA -- sons Chase and Gunner along with "bench coach" Edgar Martinez, Seahawks defensive end Cliff Avril, KOMO 4 anchor Mary Nam, Safeco Insurance President Matt Nickerson, Marv "The Milkman" Williams from Seattle Children's and "The Art of Racing in the Rain" author Garth Stein.

KIRO-FM'sDon O'Neill brought his son, Gunner, onto the field with us.

I probably should have let the kid bat for me.

"Hit it in the gap, Nicole," Raikes Foundation co-founder and former Gates Foundation CEO Jeff Raikes advised me. "And have fun."

Second up, I popped out.

"You've got a nice swing, Nicole!" Wilson told me. (You're very kind.)

But then Sonics great Shawn Kemp got up for the other team. The Reign Man swung -- and popped out, just like me. (Sorry, but I just couldn't stop grinning.)

There was plenty more to smile about. We won, 22-17, and in a brief ceremony on the field, Wilson named Stowell (who hit a grand-slam home run) the game's MVP. His award? A gift certificate to any Ethan Stowell restaurant he wants to visit.

They were still tallying up the event's pledges on Monday, but had already hit $1 million.

At least they hit something. Sigh.

Sign, Hillary, sign!

We are on the lookout for a very large squirrel. It was sent by the Republican National Committee to follow Hillary Rodham Clinton on her current book tour wearing a T-shirt that says: "Another Clinton in the White House is Nuts."

But there was no sign of it at University Book Store last Wednesday, when Clinton signed some 1,200 copies of her new book, "Hard Choices."

There was, however, a Secret Service sniffing dog named Maximus Boom, a hefty Swiss Army knife pulled from one of the photographer's bags, and a woman wearing a panda head who said she moved to the U.S. from China just so she could vote for Clinton. Wow.

And, in the background, wearing large headphones and hunched over her laptop was Huma Abedin, Clinton's aide and the wife of serial sexter and former U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner.