Herman: What are you waiting for?

I've got the answer: Three.

That's the number of times, according to his office, that Gov. Greg Abbott has been willing to put his meal money where his health is by venturing into a restaurant since May 1 when he re-legalized dining out.

On Monday, Abbott broadened the Grand Reopening some more, adding many businesses and facilities to the list and reigniting the partisan fight about how quickly the Texas comeback plan should have Texans coming back to places of public accommodation.

"Let's be clear," Abbott said, "COVID-19 still exists in Texas. Our goal is to find ways to coexist with COVID-19 as safely as possible."

Therein lies the debate, one that is both political and personal.

"Governor Abbott opening the state early is a gamble," state Rep. Gene Wu, D-Houston, tweeted Monday. "If he's right, and we're wrong, we'll look like dorks. If he's wrong, and we're right, lots of people will be dead. I don't want to be right. But now we wait."

Though it's been legal since May 1, it seems that most folks I know (including me) aren't quite ready to go to a restaurant, movie theater or any of the other places we now can enjoy like we did back when we used to roam free.

Heck. if you can't be skittish during a pandemic, when can you be skittish? We're all playing a high-stakes (life or death?) game we'll call "Who Do You Trust: Politicians or physicians."

(Worth noting: You'd consider voting for a non-politician physician to represent you. You wouldn't consider having a non-physician politician open you up.)

I've been asking this to those who've been too cautious to go to a restaurant or movie: What are you waiting for? What will tell you it's safe to dip a toe back into circulation? What's your personal all-clear signal? (And aren't you eager to have somebody else do the dishes?)

A recent Nexstar Media/Emerson College poll found that 60% of Texas respondents said they do not now feel comfortable in a restaurant, even "with some spacing precautions."

My very informal, decidedly unscientific and unrandom sample poll (which carries a margin of error of plus or minus plenty) found a link between pandemic and Justice Potter Stewart's famous 1964 notion about obscenity: "I know it when I see it."

Versions of that seem to be the most common answer among folks (including me) who say they're not yet ready to go to a restaurant or movie.

Sometimes that answer is abstractly linked to some notion of a prolonged decrease in COVID-19 cases. Here's the hitch in that standard. We also want increased coronavirus testing. Simple math: The more you test, the more you'll find, even as positive test results trend downward. And, in this case, isn't finding positive results a good thing as it will allow for quarantine of the contagious?

In general, COVID-19 (which sounds like a terrorist organization) cases have continued to trend upward since May 1 when Abbott allowed limited reopenings. And though it's reasonable to conclude that reopenings will lead to more cases, the true volume of increased cases is compromised by the increased testing. The number of tests in Texas has almost doubled since May 1.

As I expected, a couple of weeks into the reopening experiment folks on both sides are finding stats they say prove their point. Abbott on Monday keyed on the low positive test results, now about 5%, and the continued plentiful availability of hospital beds in Texas.

The Texas Democratic Party pre-acted to the gov's announcement by firing off a Monday news release headlined "Abbott's Dirty Data Covers Up the Fact that Texans Are Dying in Record Numbers."

What this adds up to is a caution for anyone whose decision on when to go to a restaurant or any other reopened business is keyed to statistics.

Other answers I've heard when I ask folks when they'd brave going to a restaurant have varied. Here's an interesting one: When hospitals allow visitors again.

I also heard this science-based answer: "Science." This person said she'd consider it safe when scientists say it is. It's a scientifically solid standard. So peer into restaurants and see if you see Einstein-looking guys in lab coats drinking out of test tubes.

And let's remember that our short-attention-span president, who's declared victory and moved on from coronavirus, is unbound by commonly accepted notions of science.

Some folks say they're waiting for science to produce a vaccine. Aren't we all? And Monday brought some encouraging news on that front. But what happens when there is a vaccine? Next up will be a discussion of the ethics of who gets it first. I'd say health care workers. But who's next? The elderly and health-compromised in nursing homes? Or younger folks?

Or you? Or me? Or how about you and me, perhaps with me first? And will there be ID cards IDing those of us who've been vaccinated and can cavort around bare-faced?

And what will we do about the anti-vaxxer fringe? (Full disclosure: I used to be an anti-vaxxer. Then I turned nine and realized the value outweighed the very momentary discomfort.)

The vaccine questions are ones we'll be happy to face because it will mean we have a safe and effective preventive measure. Our president says that could happen by (columnist exaggeration alert) about lunchtime Thursday.

I fear that if a vaccine is developed while he's in office he'll issue an executive order calling it the God Bless You Donald J. Trump Vaccine. Each injection will come with a letter from Trump -- kind of like the letter sent with stimulus checks -- in which he'll take credit for personally whipping up the vaccine in Tupperware in the White House basement. And he will self-nominate for the Nobel Prize for Medicine and All-Around Greatness, Perfection and Good Looks.

And he'll remind us that the Constitution grants presidency for life and beyond to any president who develops a major vaccine.

The bottom line is the most common answer I'm getting about returning to restaurants falls in the I'll-know-it-when-I see-it genus. On such a nonspecific notion does the future of our economy -- and our nation? -- depend.

The reality, of course, is that we can't wait for this scourge to be eradicated. We have to learn to live with it. And that means different things for different people.

So tell me, what are you waiting for?

A personal note: As you might know, I had a very mild COVID-19 case in March. That made me a candidate to donate blood that could be used to treat other COVID-19 patients.

My doctor green-lighted that. But it turns out I'm ineligible to give blood because I'd been to a malaria area (South Africa) in the past 12 months.

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