Tolar’s retirement and reflections on a career
By Pat McCann, The News Herald, Panama City, Fla. | |
McClatchy-Tribune Information Services |
After pitching in 649 games over a 19-year career in professional baseball, in 2007 Kevin Tolar finally decided at age 36 that it was time.
He still felt as though he had more pitches in his left arm, but when balancing his options the side with continued participation no longer outweighed retirement.
"After
Now 43, his transition hasn't been all that difficult in some regards. He's back living in
But initially, he didn't immediately become a fan.
"I didn't watch a single baseball game the first two years after I retired," Tolar said. "Since I retired I've seen some guys I knew would make it, and other guys I'm very surprised to see there."
"I played professional baseball for 19 years and I was a competitor. I was seeking (managers') approval a little bit. Approval that I was ready to pitch in the big leagues. I took the information and processed it incorrectly. Processed what people thought of me. When I retired I still could throw 93, but my knees hurt. I didn't want to go through boot camp on the minor league side."
Tolar never was able to stick with a parent club and pitch an entire season in the majors. Therefore he missed out on the hefty contracts on that level.
He did earn
When he signed as a ninth-round pick with the
"The truth is you don't need an agent until your fifth year because you're the sole property of the organization" that drafted and signed you, Tolar said.
In hindsight, however, an agent might have better represented him to the organization, and been an insurance policy for not becoming one of the guys who gets passed over.
"They can help keep you in the forefront of the conversation," Tolar said. "I had three (agents) and all of them were great people. But I never had one of the quote-unquote high-power guys."
So he walked away with few regrets.
"No, with one exception. I never got to that one place one time to be that everyday guy," Tolar said. "To have 60 days as the guy so I could put together a track record. That was my last goal. I got to see half the world, but that was the one dream that I didn't attain."
After a ballplayer reaches a certain point in his career, he can't force his way in, Tolar said, and is at the whim of an injury or trade.
He defined force his way in as "To do so damned good that it was to the detriment of the team if you weren't there."
"For 10 years I was a free agent and you don't have any leverage," Tolar said. "There was a lot of satisfaction. That I could be around that long (19 years) and for six or seven years be knocking on the door."
He said the two biggest heartbreaking moments of his career were a failed confrontation against
Tolar walked Palmeiro in a spring training game that cost him a roster spot with
A hamstring injury in his final spring training appearance with
The home run Tolar surrendered to Palmeiro ironically was the only one he gave up in the major leagues.
While some might question the longevity of a career spanning nearly two decades that had more than its share of frustration, rejection and heartache, Tolar said he never lacked for motivation.
"The naysayers are what kept me going. When I was at Mosley, the athletic director told me I was better off playing football than baseball. There was no way I was ever going to give it up as long as I thought I had a chance" to make the big leagues.
"I always looked like I was out of shape even though I worked as hard as anybody. I've always had a bad body. Then it was I didn't throw enough strikes. It always was about eliminating labels."
Tolar seldom had the opportunity to hit at most of the levels he pitched, but answered without hesitation ".267" when asked about his career batting average.
He never hit a home run in professional baseball.
"No, but I hit the top of the wall twice," he said. "All pitchers think they can hit."
One he retired, he said he turned down three different offers to become a pitching coach in professional baseball, and has had another dozen conversations broaching the subject.
"But to start all over as a coach (in the low minors), be back on the buses and be away from home that long ... and for what,
Instead he helps
He admitted, however, that he can't be with the team "100 percent fulltime."
"It's harder to coach the mental side," Tolar said. "It took me 10 years to get to that point. I coach so I can give that to a young kid, help with the mental side,"
He also does personalized instruction for young pitchers, usually age 13 or older. He prefers high school age, but recently received a call from a father whose son is 10.
"I'm compensated for my time, but I look at it as another way to give something back," Tolar said.
One aspect with young players that he does find somewhat disturbing is that many aren't as committed to the game.
"I've asked every single kid I ever did a lesson for and 75 percent at the college if they've ever heard of
Tolar said one desire he possibly could pursue in the coming years is professional bass fishing.
"I would love to get sponsored on that tournament circuit," he said. "It would be my fix for competitiveness. It's something I could do up and age, but it's a situation where you could do everything right and still fail."
Almost like a game that defined
"Baseball doesn't owe anybody anything, but by having played it 19 years I owe it something," Tolar said. "I tried to play it as honestly as I possibly could."
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